Online Shenanigans

*Presses Start*

First off, Megan's on a roll, isn't she? Give her a hand! *claps*

Now to the good stuff.

Nowadays PSN and Xbox Live are a gamers second home. It makes you feel welcome. Accepted. Quaint. Playing online with millions of people across the world, making them all eat whatever you can dish out, it's a phenomenal experience that people around the world lose sleep over.

I can't stand it.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a hermit, nor would I like my online systems disabled by any means. There are certain aspects of being online that I'm thankful for. I have friends everywhere that playing online is the only means of playing. However, I usually only play with friends. Not because I love my friends. Not because I love the netcode of the games.

It's because, by nature, human beings are assholes.

Playing online almost ruined my MVC3 playing because of the way people play (And still do) and it would get so frustrating and so ridiculous that the game that I waited to play for 10 years, I dropped in 2 months. It took a lot of convincing from friends to get back on the wagon and actually start playing, but now, I've limited it to just friends. I know we've all had that situation. Playing a game online just to run into that one person who needs to hit that instant win button. They make the game generally unendurable and maybe it's just my luck, but from Marvel to Madden to Modern Warfare, There's always that one.

On top of the online douchebaggery, The world wide web has never been the greatest place for competitive gaming. Some gamers will still get on with their dial up internet creating some of the slowest games ever. Lag is a terrible problem. It doesn't help the concentration when your game play looks like a slideshow. On top of all this, there are people to exploit this. Lag Switches are devices that temporarily disconnects you from the internet, and quickly connects you back. When happens, the person on the other end sees everything either in slow motion or catches the action in quick bursts, allowing the lag switcher to outmaneuver and do whatever is it to do to you to get the upper hand. It's a cheap way to get the win.

There's a ton more to talk about, like boosting, rapidfire, disconnecting, hacking, aimbots, exploits, etc, but then I'd be here all day. The main point that I'd like to bring up is there's nothing like having friends getting together and playing. Sure, I could play them online, but there's a certain feeling that you get when you've got your friends there. One of the best experiences I've had is getting friends together to play "X-Men Legends" when it dropped years ago. We were up all night, and then some. So much gaming. Same thing with Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Multiplayer madness. Does anyone else remember Gauntlet? Get some friends and play some couch co-op! Go outside, make a friend so you can go back inside and be hermits. Besides, can you picture playing Mario Party 8 with a lag switcher? Geez.

Also, as a final note, back in May (or June?) , I made a post talking about Hollywood staying out of my video game movies. The post was sparked at the realization that they were making a Phoenix Wright movie. I blew it off, saying it was going to be dumb. The trailer was leaked on YouTube. I was wrong. It actually looks damn good. Go check it out. There's not many times I'm wrong about game movies. Hopefully, This will be enough to make me eat crow.

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Objection! Video Games should stay out of my movie, damn it!

*Presses start*

So, I've been moving recently and I hate life. We've bee......

HOLD IT!

There's been a recent announcement that the lawyer with a mission, Phoenix Wright, is getting adapted to the big screen. From the way it sounds, Phoenix, Maya, and Mia, and Edgeworth will all be represented in this long awaited movie.

So....why is it that I have a huge problem with that?

If you think about it and you've gotten past the first case in the first game, you'd know exactly why. I'm not going to spoil anything now, but in a later blog post, I will. Just know that the entire basis of this Phoenix movie lies in the first 30 minutes. I just don't think that they'll do it justice.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what every gamers nightmare is.

Since 1994, Hollywood has been taking our video games and for the most part, killing the stories and the characters that have made them iconic. Super Mario Bros. Sucked. Double Dragon was terrible. Don't get me started on Street Fighter. Hollywood has a habit of taking well established stories and "ritzing" them up for people who aren't on the same gaming wavelength and getting them to understand the story and to care about their characters. The problem with that is by changing the story, you change a lot about the character, and when people like myself go to enjoy said movie, we end up shouting "THAT'S NOT WHAT HE/SHE/IT WOULD DO! LIES!" at the screen while the other people around us wonder what we've been smoking. They just don't understand that when we get in the theater, we already have a established connection with the lead character/villian and the movie being displayed is nothing like we've played on our game systems.

That's not to say that it's always 100% why VG movies fail, either. Sometimes, we as gamers want the exact same game, line by line, scene by scene, translated to awesome CG effects. Generally good movies get thrown down the tube because of what X director didn't do. I thought (and still do, to this day) that Mortal Kombat was the best video game movie that you could find. It didn't follow what was considered at the time to be canon, but it did a damn good job at getting as close as it could. Resident Evil was the same way. I thought it was a pretty good movie and could have succeeded as being it's own franchise, but I don't think it has a damn thing to do with the game series at all besides sharing a title. Hell, I even kinda enjoyed DOA, but for totally different reasons. :-D

At the time of this writing, David O. Russell just stepped down from the Uncharted movie. This movie was a prime example of taking a video game and changing everything about it. (From being a treasure hunter to a family of art dealers? Really?) Besides, Mark Walburg should never touch another video game movie again. Max Payne is still too fresh in my mind. *shudder*

I think for any director that wants to pick up a game needs to find that happy medium. Make a good movie that stays true to the series, and I'll be happy and you can take my money any day of the week.

I'll leave you with Ken Levine's comment on the BioShock film that was started but then cancelled. All directors, heed this warning. All gamers, listen closely. This is dedicated to you.

“I think we’re in the space now of building properties that are appealing to people, and there’s a version of BioShock that makes a great game and there’s probably a version of BioShock that makes a great movie.”

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