All Game Reviewers Suck. Except Us. Well.....

*Presses Start*

It's been a long, long, long October guys. But we've been totally busy! From Extra Life to Left 4 Zelda to The First Impressions to some of the personal things we've gotten through, we've been doing a lot of stuff for you guys. One thing that totally comes to mind is the recent stuff for first impressions.

Now, If you haven't listened to our first impression stuff yet, that's cool. I'll give you a quick rundown of the entire thing. We talk about games that have recently come out and I give a small little review based off of what I've seen and played so far. In no way shape or form is it a full fledged review. Usually, I have the game for about a hour or a day. When I do give reviews, I would wholeheartedly give a fair and honest review to what I would think the game deserves. I'm no fan of the number scale, I would much much rather tell you to get the game or pass by it. I would think that's totally fair. I'm only going off my own experiences. I'm sure there's someone out there who thinks that the original Assassin's Creed was miles better then any of the sequels that came out or someone that thinks that the original Uncharted is more action-packed then Uncharted 2. It happens all the time. We should however, clear the air really really quick.

We are not, the end all, be all.

There is way too much behind the scenes when it comes to gaming for me to say without a shadow of a doubt that "professional" game reviewers aren't some sort of bias when it comes down to publishers and their games. A event comes to mind back in 2007. Jeff Gerstmann gave a overly negative review of Kane and Lynch, a pretty big Eidos title . It wouldn't have been a huge issue except that Eidos at the time was shelling out a huge ton of money towards the ads of Mr. G's home website, Gamespot. When the review dropped, Eidos threatened to pull promotional ads for the present and the future if action was not taken. Instead of Gamespot not backing down, They fired Mr. Gerstmann instead. I've made clear to people that I actually enjoyed bits and pieces of Kane and Lynch but it wasn't a stellar game by any means. As a gamer, you don't want to hear drivel shoved in your ears, you want to hear the truth. Truth was that Kane and Lynch couldn't cut it as well as we all would have hoped. Fast forward 4 years later, and EA has been shown, when asking for reviewer copies, getting a little more personal information then really needs to be like "Has the reviewer reviewed _______ before? What score did it give receive Does the reviewer like FPS's? etc." It may not seem like much, but it was a ton of information for a "PLZ give free game". On top of all that, a ton of reviewers a couple days prior to Battlefield 3 launching decided that the PC game and the console game should be reviewed separately, due to EA insisting that there was no possible way to gauge a console release since there was going to be a day one patch on the consoles. Like dolts, they all did just that. Now, don't get me wrong. BF3 deserves a crystal clear shot at greatness. However, there are plenty of games that get day one patches. What made BF3 any different?

Youtube Reviews, you're not out of the woods either. Youtube is the biggest soapbox out there and everyone inspires to be a AVGN or insert some crazy equivalent here. However, for every well thought out review, there's 10 that are just plain strange with reasons being "I don't like X because it isn't Y." Or "This game just sucks. I can't tell you why, but it just sucks." That doesn't help at all, genius. Explain WHY this game isn't all that great. Explain why I shouldn't spend 60 on this wonderful game that is wowing the crap out of me. But then again, It's Youtube. Everyone can be great on Youtube with enough effort.

And then there's us. TCPS. We make no point in sugarcoating anything (hence the explicit tags on our podcast) and the witty banter often goes unchecked and we're not exactly the spot to go to for immediate go to news. If you're looking for unbias, we'll try hard as hard as we can, but try telling Megan that when Zelda: Skyward Sword comes out. We are, however the spot to go to if you want to hear two seemingly normal but totally not normal at all adult talk about gaming old and gaming new. We are the spot to go to if you want to watch Megan find her gaming childhood one NES game at a time. We're random and we're damn proud. That's our charm. We're not exempt at all from bias, but I'll tell you upfront when we're totally bias.

You know who's the best game reviewer of all time? YOU. Only you know who you really like. You see a game. Think it looks cool? Spend the money and cop it. Who gives a damn what Game Joe gave it or Snoozepro? Who knows, you may find yourself with a hidden gem. Reading up on reviews, I thought that Bionic Commando 2009 was terrible, but when I got my hands on it, it turns out not to be a bad game at all. Reverse for Dead Island where people were touting that game to be amazing, and I thought it to be pretty bland and not that much fun, even with multiplayer. Sometimes it just pays off to just dive in head first and pick a title. If it wasn't diving in headfirst, I would have never played some of my favorite games of all time. Including Chrono Trigger.

I don't think Final Fantasy is the best game ever, nor do I think that Hunted was the worst game I've played this year. No, that's reserved for MindJack and Call of Juarez: The Cartel. No matter what we think, however, make your own judgement. Too many great games get missed because people are too afraid to have fun and draw their own conclusions. If you want some sort of hilarity with your reviews, stick with us. Come for the games. Stay for the conversation.

Strife out.

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The Greatest Games Never Sold

*Presses Start*

This game sucks.

A phrase said all too often. We get a game home, pop it in and expect to be bedazzled with amazing graphics, a immersible story, and game play that will blow the socks off even the most stubborn gamer. Sadly, PS1 graphics, terribad story and horrible controls instantly brings out the worst case of "Buyer's remorse" that anyone will ever see. For every Call of Duty and Uncharted, there's a BodyCount and MindJack. What happens when the game that instantly gets the rage is a game that is actually good...but doesn't sell?

I've made it no secret that I had about a two week affair with Deus Ex: Human Revolution that cultivated into a up-all-night session crack at the ending and a phone call to Megan at 8am. The story drew me in. The game play rocked. It had a little something for everyone and made it pretty awesome. Worth a 2nd play through and I believe a heavy contender for GOTY. I went into my local game store to trump how good this game in and overheard a conversation that made me wonder what kind of gamer are around today.

*hands a copy of Deus Ex* I'm trading this game in. This game blows. You can't run around and shoot things and it was hard. The story was boring. This game sucks and I don't know why people liked it. *looks around at PS3 Section* Hey, let me get that Call of Duty or that Saints Row 2. Those were some good games!

Now, in order to keep me from disconnecting this man from living, I have to understand that everyone has their opinion. No one's game opinion is correct and I'm sure that there is someone out there who's favorite video game is Iron Man. Hell, Nickelodeon Guts was my favorite game for a while. Then again, I openly admit that this game was terrible then and it's still terrible now. It just bugs me greatly that the smart games are the ones that just don't sell. Maybe it's the crowd of people that it goes for. Sometimes, it's the console that the game is ported to. Okami is a perfect example. The game dropped on the PS2 but because the PS2 was dying, no one really played Okami. Never mind the fact that the game is beautifully well done. Even when it was ported to the Wii (The ideal system for the game, mind you.) Everyone didn't want it, because it was the Wii. Alas, the game because a cult hit. A lot of my friends in particular got their first exposure to Okami from Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. (Yami, the boss from Okami, was the final boss in the Capcom fighter.)

The thing that gets me the most, however, is that people were calling Dead Island (which dropped 2 weeks after) the better game. Yes, a game that on launch had save game problems and had a pretty lackluster story. I do like the game and problems aside, it's well done and a gory good time. However, to say that it's better then Deus Ex, is insulting to me. Maybe it's my problem. Maybe I'm just a old fogie who prefers being in a challenging situation instead of being a super soldier who can kill everything.

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TCPS 13: E3 Special - Sony

We watched the press conferences, we took notes, and now we talk about it. We cover Sony in this special podcast, talking about what they announced, and how we feel about it.

Objection! Video Games should stay out of my movie, damn it!

*Presses start*

So, I've been moving recently and I hate life. We've bee......

HOLD IT!

There's been a recent announcement that the lawyer with a mission, Phoenix Wright, is getting adapted to the big screen. From the way it sounds, Phoenix, Maya, and Mia, and Edgeworth will all be represented in this long awaited movie.

So....why is it that I have a huge problem with that?

If you think about it and you've gotten past the first case in the first game, you'd know exactly why. I'm not going to spoil anything now, but in a later blog post, I will. Just know that the entire basis of this Phoenix movie lies in the first 30 minutes. I just don't think that they'll do it justice.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what every gamers nightmare is.

Since 1994, Hollywood has been taking our video games and for the most part, killing the stories and the characters that have made them iconic. Super Mario Bros. Sucked. Double Dragon was terrible. Don't get me started on Street Fighter. Hollywood has a habit of taking well established stories and "ritzing" them up for people who aren't on the same gaming wavelength and getting them to understand the story and to care about their characters. The problem with that is by changing the story, you change a lot about the character, and when people like myself go to enjoy said movie, we end up shouting "THAT'S NOT WHAT HE/SHE/IT WOULD DO! LIES!" at the screen while the other people around us wonder what we've been smoking. They just don't understand that when we get in the theater, we already have a established connection with the lead character/villian and the movie being displayed is nothing like we've played on our game systems.

That's not to say that it's always 100% why VG movies fail, either. Sometimes, we as gamers want the exact same game, line by line, scene by scene, translated to awesome CG effects. Generally good movies get thrown down the tube because of what X director didn't do. I thought (and still do, to this day) that Mortal Kombat was the best video game movie that you could find. It didn't follow what was considered at the time to be canon, but it did a damn good job at getting as close as it could. Resident Evil was the same way. I thought it was a pretty good movie and could have succeeded as being it's own franchise, but I don't think it has a damn thing to do with the game series at all besides sharing a title. Hell, I even kinda enjoyed DOA, but for totally different reasons. :-D

At the time of this writing, David O. Russell just stepped down from the Uncharted movie. This movie was a prime example of taking a video game and changing everything about it. (From being a treasure hunter to a family of art dealers? Really?) Besides, Mark Walburg should never touch another video game movie again. Max Payne is still too fresh in my mind. *shudder*

I think for any director that wants to pick up a game needs to find that happy medium. Make a good movie that stays true to the series, and I'll be happy and you can take my money any day of the week.

I'll leave you with Ken Levine's comment on the BioShock film that was started but then cancelled. All directors, heed this warning. All gamers, listen closely. This is dedicated to you.

“I think we’re in the space now of building properties that are appealing to people, and there’s a version of BioShock that makes a great game and there’s probably a version of BioShock that makes a great movie.”

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